Girl Fantasies Lack Punch

SUCKER PUNCH
FANTASY/ADVENTURE

If you see this movie, read all the reviews good and bad, so you can understand what is going on!!! Story is not important here, but the ACTION is!!! The epic battles are simply AMAZING. Director Zack Snyder, who made sense of the graphic novel Watchmen, couldn’t do it for his own screenplay. His next project is Superman: Man of Steel. This movie didn’t do well at the box-office, which has many insiders worried that he will ruin Superman. No he won’t!! He said he will have more action than most Superman films and it’s not from his screenplay. If you’re into hot chicks who kick butt it is great, but if you want more from your movies, DO NOT GO!!! Wait for video or cable.

RED RIDING HOOD
ROMANCE/FANTASY/HORROR

This movie is a re-imagining of the fairy tale. The director is Catherine Hardwicke, who the first Twilight movie, so be prepared to be bored. The cast is very attractive and the medieval village is colorful and lush, but the film as a whole is dull mush. What is so surprising is that one of the producers of this movie is Leonardo DiCaprio. How did they get him to produce this? If you’re a young girl (12-17) you may like it, but for others it’s worth waiting on video.

Anger and Other Drugs

LIMITLESS
SCI-FANTASY/THRILLER

Would you take an illegal drug that would make you smarter, stronger or almost superhuman, but you must take every day or you will die? That is what this movie is about. Edward Morra (Bradley Cooper) is a writer looking terrible and has writer’s block. His ex brother-in-law Vernon (Johnny Whitworth) gives him a sample of the potent drug. He changes literally overnight into a playboy and brilliant businessman. Everything is great until he runs out.

The movie is rated PG-13 but it doesn’t feel like it. It seems like an R. Shia LaBouf was supposed to play this role but he had an accident-–thank God--and Bradley Cooper took over. He was in the A-Team as “Face.” He is attractive but he is creepy too. He seems to still be taking the drug to me. He could have had come up with cures for many diseases while on the drug, but he becomes-–what else? A politician. It is an interesting movie that is for sure. Robert De Niro is in the movie too, but I don’t know why. He is too talented to be in something like this. It is a good movie if you like the premise, otherwise wait for video.

DRIVE ANGRY-3D
ACTION FANTASY

You gotta love B-movies to like this!!! It is a story about Milton (Nicholas Cage, Ghost Rider) who escapes from hell to save his granddaughter from a cult. Sounds simple, right? Well it is. There is lots of action and it is the old 3D which means they throw things at the screen unlike Avatar new 3D that surrounds you. The 3D doesn’t help but you pay more. The supporting cast is not bad. Amber Heard (Pineapple Express) is Piper, who joins Milton but she can kick ass all by herself. She should consider being a female action star.

William Fichtner (Armageddon)is The Accountant (I don’t know why they call him that he’s Satan’s assistant to catch Milton) This actor is very good and he is always in the most popular movies. Nicholas Cage is a very talented actor, so why is doing exploitation? Maybe he likes it, I don’t know but I think if he does a remake of The World’s Greatest Sinner, he would get his second Oscar. WARNING: The World’s Greatest Sinner is not a commercial film, it is independent. It is good and STRANGE!!! It is not for everyone. If you love grind house and action movies you will like this. It didn’t do well in theaters but when it hits Blu-ray, woo-hoo!!!

UNKNOWN
ACTION/THRILLER

When Liam Neeson does action movies he can do no wrong!!! He plays Dr. Martin Harris and he is missing some luggage and that’s when the trouble begins. He gets in a cab, he gets in an accident resulting in a coma then another man claims he is him!!! He doesn’t give up finding out who is trying to be him and why which leads to startling conclusions!! The movie is exciting and intelligent, but what keeps it together is Neeson who uses his brawn and brains to figure things out. If you like action thrillers this is very good. You do see what kind of happens near the end but what a ride!!! It was the number one movie in February and I know why.

The Aliens Have (Again) Landed

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES
SCIENCE FICTION/WAR/THRILLER

ACTION HOUNDS-SEE THIS MOVIE!!! The summer came early for my peeps. If you mix the beginning of Saving Private Ryan, Independence Day and a video game, you got this flick. I have never seen action like this!! It is a simple story--aliens come to take our water by any means necessary and they have torn down everything major city except LA. Sergeant Michael Nantz (Aaron Eckhart, Two-face in The Dark Knight) is about to retire and he is needed to help a group of soldiers, which include singer Ne-Yo and Michelle Rodriquez (Fast and Furious, Machete) when the invasion breaks out. It uses hand held cameras so you feel you’re in the movie!!! It is non-stop action.

“Quiet time” is less than ten minutes, if that, in a movie near two hours long!!! The Latino audience will enjoy this movie for they show them as brave people fighting to live; in fact they show most minorities in a good way. For the haters there is not much character development and you have to see the movie again to keep up what is going on, as soldiers are yelling for there are blow outs, shoot outs the entire time!!! If you like the director Jonathan Liebesman get ready: he will also do the sequel to Clash of the Titans 2!!!

I AM NUMBER FOUR
SCIENCE FICTION/THRILLER

The recent franchises are heading toward the end like Harry Potter, or Twilight, so Hollywood is scrambling for the next hot franchise, and this film has potential. It is based on a book by Pittacus Lore (real name James Frey) about a teenaged guy Four (Alex Pettyfer, Beastly) from planet Lorien trying not to be captured by the evil Mogadorians. He seeks to act human, tries to adjust to his new superpowers and find others like him. His guardian is Henri (Timothy Olyphant Hitman, Justified) is like a dad trying to guide him and protect him. You should read the book before watching the movie, but it could have easily been a graphic novel. It has a young cast and they are very good. It has an exciting ending and you want to see more of them. It is worth seeming both in the theater and Blu-Ray.

Silly New Movies, Silly Old Bear

THE MECHANIC-2011
ACTION/DRAMA

Where is my action hounds at!!! For all the fans who are tired of Oscar hype this movie is for you!!! The film is a remake of the 1972 movie starring Charles Bronson. The remake has Jason Statham (The Expendables) in the Bronson role and his “apprentice” is Ben Foster (The Punisher, The Messenger, X-men3) as Jan Michael Vincent was in 1972. You think you are going to watch a psychological study of an assassin but after an hour the violence comes fast and furious!!! Jason Statham is an action star!!!! I am surprised Ben Foster did a movie like this. He is a very talented actor. If you need your B-movie fix this is the film for you. It is R for a reason-mindless killing and sex-gay and straight!!!

YOGI BEAR
ANIMATION COMEDY-2010

Silly old bear!!! This movie is so bad it’s funny in a juvenile way. They couldn’t make the film about a smarter than the average bear, so they put in it is Jellystone Park's 100 Anniversary---but the mayor wants to take it over to make money and get votes. It is up to Yogi and friends to save the park!!! The real voice of Yogi is Daws Butler, who is gone now but people who know Dan Aykroyd (Blues Brothers and Ghost Busters) knows it is him.

The real surprise is pop singer Justin Timberlake who does BooBoo, Yogi’s sidekick very well. Tom Cavanagh plays Ranger Smith. I heard Will Ferrell was first for the part but he knew a disaster so stayed away. Anna Faris (House Bunny) is pretty and funny as Ranger Smith girlfriend. You have to a fan of Yogi Bear or a little kid or a big kid who likes Yogi Bear to truly enjoy this . It didn’t make money in theaters and it shouldn’t have. Blu-ray or DVD will do better.

Award Season 2011 Roundup

THE KING’S SPEECH-2010
HISTORICAL DRAMA

This film is a lavish, well done Masterpiece Theater episode. If you don’t know what Masterpiece Theater is, don’t read this review. It is a true story about King George VI (Colin Firth), who had a terrible stuttering problem, and the unorthodox speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). The action is all in the dialogue so this is NOT for action hounds!!!

The acting is incredible especially by the two lead actors. Both are nominated for Oscars. It is nominated also for Best Screenplay by David Seidler, and should be. The controversy was about should it receive the dreaded rated R or PG-13 and the reason is the f-word is said too many times. There is no nudity or violence in the movie.

BLUE VALENTINE-2010
ROMANTIC DRAMA

I have never seen a flick done so realistically of love gone bad!!! To me this is NOT a date movie at all!! It is about Dean (Ryan Gosling, The Notebook) and Cindy (Michelle Williams--the late, great Heath Ledger’s girlfriend, Brokeback Mountain, Shutter Island). They fall in love, something happens and they get married. The performances of the two leads are nothing short of wonderful, but Gosling wasn’t nominated for BEST ACTOR, while she was.

Cindy didn’t seem to be in love with Dean in the first place, but he cared very much about her. She‘s a mess!! Unhappy parents made her start having sex at thirteen and she had twenty-five partners!!! Not qualified for safe sex advocate, now is she? She works hard as a medical assistant but is emotionally cold. Dean is not too bright, but really cares for her and her daughter. He is immature at times but he means well.

The film is monotonous, for it's supposed to be to show that romance is not always a romantic comedy!!! It is an independent movie so it is not for everyone. Should you see it? Yes, if you want to see a good, gritty movie, but see a funny movie afterwards!!! It was given the rating NC-17 for cunnilingus scene (slang--going ‘down south’), but what is so shocking is that (SPOILER) it was done in Black Swan!!! I believe they did cut it to an R.

THE FIGHTER-2010
BOXING DRAMA

Boxing movies are usually about one guy who rises above all odds to become champion. This movie is no different, only he is trying to escape his family to make it!!! Mark Wahlberg is Irish-American working class Micky Ward, who has a brother a local legend Dicky Eklund (Christian Bale) who tries to train him despite he is a crack head and a loser. His mother Melissa Leo is his manager, who isn’t very good. Micky loses fights but he listens to his family over his own judgment until he meets a girl who works at a bar named Charlene (Amy Adams) and when he loses badly and the family laughs it off.

It is a different boxing movie I’ve ever seen. They acted very real and at times very ghetto. Christian Bale MUST be nominated as Dicky for best supporting actor. He is interesting the moment you see him on screen. The fight scenes are very realistic. It is a good sports drama but it not the Rocky-type movies many fans are used to--that are realistic too.

BLACK SWAN-2010
DRAMA

Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman, Star Wars) is a young dedicated dancer who gets to play the lead in Black Swan. She is so consumed with the part she loses her mind!!! The movie is not for the beer belly crowd. It is an art film with lesbian sex in it!!! Miss Portman is great in the film. She is fragile, determined and in so much agony. YOU feel her pain when she makes mistakes it is frightening!!! You really wish she didn’t take the part.

Mila Kunis (Family Guy and That 70’s Show) is very good as Lily who may or may not want the lead for herself. She is the total opposite of good girl Nina. Vincent Cassel (Ocean Twelve, Eastern Promises) as Thomas Leroy the work-until-you die oversexed trainer is not bad. The director Darren Aronofsky also did The Wrestler in 2008. If you look up his resume he is a unique director--no two movies are the same.