Spider Magic, Musicals, Mayhem and Madea

ROCK OF AGES

MUSICAL

             This movie is from the play of the same name.  It is a spirited but senseless mess!!  It has every cliché of Hollywood you ever seen.  Small time girl Sherrie (Julianne Hough) comes to LA meets hard-worker guy who want to be a rock star (Diego Boneta) and don’t forget Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) who is a rock legend –a mix of Axel Rose, Bret Michaels, Gene Simmons and Michael Jackson. 

Cruise is all attitude and no voice.  The only singer is Mary J. Blige and she is very good.  Lots of face palms moments.  If you love the 80’s but want the real singers buy the albums!!  It’s kind of a good movie just don’t PAY to see in the theater-wait for cable!!

ABRAHAM LINCOLN:  VAMPIRE HUNTER

FANTASY/ACTION

                Suspension of belief is really tested with this film!!!  If you can believe the title you can see the movie.  It is based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith and he wrote the screenplay.  Young Abe’s mom is killed by vampires so he swore he will kill them all!!  They mix fact with fiction. The director Timur Bekmambetov who did Wanted should do a superhero film for the actors are larger than life!!  The action is insanely good but you GOTTA believe A LOT in this movie.

THE AMAZING SPIDERMAN

ACTION/FANTASY

This movie is well AMAZING!!!  It is not a remake of Spiderman 2002 but a reboot of the comic!!  You know the story Peter Parker played by Andrew Garfield ( Social Network) who gets bitten by a spider but it tells a little bit more about what happened to his parents.  He has a new girlfriend Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone, The Help) is smart and can defend herself when necessary and a new villain Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) who mutates into  The Lizard. 

The director of this flick Marc Webb (500 Days of summer) made this spider man very vulnerable but very heroic as well. There will be debates of who is the better Spiderman but they were all great for their time.  See it for the little kid in you.

TYLER PERRY’S MADEA’S WITNESS PROTECTION

COMEDY

                The story you have heard before innocent CFO (Eugene Levy) in a mob Ponzi scheme and his young wife, Denise Richards,spoiled teenage daughter, neglected son.  What is different the safe house is where sassy take -no -mess Madea.  The movie is really good when she is in it.  Perry’s Madea is stereotypical but sooo funny.  Tyler Perry is trying to branch out and do other things please give him a chance or soon we will have Madea In Outta Space!!!

Mid-Summer 2012 Action Bloats In

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN

ACTION/FANTASY

When you mix 200 year old fairy tale with Lord of the Rings and a feminist slant you have this movie.  You know the story Snow White (Kristen Stewart, Twilight) is the fairest of them all and Ravenna, the evil witch (Charlize Theron) doesn’t like that at all!!  Wicked as she is she does have a back story so she is not just evil to be evil. The Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth, Thor) also has a back story why he is lost soul.  Theron’s gowns are amazing as well as the sets. 

It is beautiful to look at.  The movie Mirror Mirror where Julia Roberts was the wicked witch was comical, Theron’s witch is terrifying!!  Anytime she can be horrible she is!! She deserves a MTV or Scream Award for her performance. Stewart becomes a damsel-in-distress to Snow White, warrior princess.  She is tougher than in the Twilight movies unless you like those movies. This is the better Snow White.

PROMETHEUS

SCI-FI/ACTION

First, you want to know why Ridley Scott called this movie Prometheus.  It is from mythology, a Greek god who made man and in another meaning seeking knowledge. In the film Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace, The original Girl With The Dragon Tattoo) with her partner want to know where Man came from.  They are funded and go to an isolated planet and get in scary situations which results in saving earth. 

The film is like a rose beautiful but dangerous.  It asks more questions than answers, and there is always a gross scene around the corner, and there is always a android---this time 'David,' played by Michael Fassbender (who looks like Peter O Toole from Lawrence of Arabia) knows more than he is telling.  He is very good as well. You will either applaud or scratch your head.  It is that kind of movie experience.  

CHERNOBYL DIARIES

HORROR

The film is not that interesting.  You know the story six people visit the contaminated Chernobyl with “something” chasing them and one by one they are attacked.  Cast of newcomers does have some jumps but you can wait for video for that. The movie probably made because of the guy Oren Peli who was a success at Paranormal Activity let him rip off this tragedy.  How the hell it got a summer release is just amazing.

Summer 2012 is Dark, Black and Hasbro Safe

DARK SHADOWS
HORROR

The supernatural soap that was on TV is now a movie and it is not bad. The trailers are very misleading. It is very serious for most of the film and lavished. The story is about Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) imprisoned and turned into a vampire by the jealous witch Angelique (Eva Green). Ms. Green is sexy and evil!! He is set free and wants to rebuild the Collins family back to greatness. Now Angelique has taken over the business and still wants him. Depp’s Baranabas knows how to be weird and has to adjust to the modern world. Director Tim Burton makes great gothic movies and this is no exception. There is comedy in it but nothing like the trailer. If you like the classic Dark Shadows you should see it.

BATTLESHIP
SCI-FI/ACTION

When you mix Transformers, Independence Day and a reason you should join the navy and you have this picture. Plot not much a practice test the ships what they can do in a crisis becomes the real thing when aliens decide to take over. Peter Berg is good director and makes being in the navy like the most patriotic thing in the world. It is good if you like action. The most important thing does anyone say: “You sunk my battleship” is said but not directly.

MEN IN BLACK 3
SC-FI ACTION COMEDY

If you didn’t like MIB2 this one is a little better. J. and K. (Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones) are back but K is in danger from being non-existent by a villain named Boris The Animal (Jermaine Clement) so J has to go back in the past and save K. Plot not really important but the relationship between Smith and Jones is good. Josh Brolin as the younger K is just outstanding!! It is very funny and near the end very touching. If you are looking for a popcorn movie this is it.

SAFE
ACTION DRAMA

Action hounds rejoice Jason Statham is in a movie!!! It is not a summer movie but I finally got to see it. It is not a great movie but it has a huge body count. Story young Asian girl has knowledge that organizes crime wants and is saved by Statham. Lots of action after the first fifteen minutes. It did do well in theaters but it will on video. Has some acting for Statham but it is action we want before Expendables 2.

Superhero Fans, Assemble!

THE AVENGERS
ACTION/FANTASY

Six superheroes Iron Man, (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) join forces with S.H.I.E.L.D. run by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to combat Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his evil band of aliens to save the earth. The 2012 summer of movies kick off with a blast with this film!! It is just amazing.

The director Jess Whedon (Serenity, Buffy The Vampire Slayer--the TV series has made a popcorn movie no one thought Hollywood could. The movie may drag to some because they are establishing characters and plot, but the finale is worth the admission!! All the actors are just great!! This is why you go to the movies!! SEE IT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!! And don’t jump up when the credit rolls--STAY!!!!

Blacks, Clowns and Crazy Cabins

CABIN IN THE WOODS
HORROR/COMEDY

I don’t know what to say about this movie. You will either find it brilliant or bizarre. I found it bizarre!! It gives a new spin on a group of young people in an isolated place. It is funny and gory. It is not your typical slasher film. I can’t believe the person involved with this is the great Joss Whedon who did Buffy the movie and the series and the upcoming superhero movie The Avengers. If you can wait, wait for IFC.

THE THREE STOOGES
COMEDY

This film is not a biography about the three funny men, this is about the guys in the modern world. Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) Larry (Sean Hayes, Will and Grace) and Curly (Will Sasso) born in an orphanage want to save the place from closing go on a slapstick adventure. Plot not really important but the physical comedy is!! The three actors did a good job especially Sasso. It is not great comedy but it is funny. It will do extremely well on video!!!

THINK LIKE A MAN
COMEDY

Wow a black romantic comedy that isn’t a Tyler Perry movie!!! It is based on the bestselling book by Steve Hardy who tells woman how to get men to get and keep the men they want. It is a very good black battle of the sexes. Steve Hardy is a smart man. He is also executive producer. The black people in the film are middle to upper class. The actors are attractive, sexy and professional. It is well done with a happy ending. The film is a success for black audiences are hungry for a movie that shows them as people. Highly recommended!!!