Vengeance, Sharks and Human Monsters

SHARK NIGHT 3D
THRILLER

The movie Jaws, the blockbuster in 1976, made us fear sharks, and since then there has been sharkploitation!!! The latest film is this one. It is not really about anything but a bunch of hot teens being lunch for the predators. The sad part the monsters are not always in the ocean. It is slightly better than a Syfy movie. Acting is not a main point of the movie, but two performances stand out. Sinqua Walls (who plays in Friday Night Lights) as a victim, and Donal Logue, who starred in the cancelled series Terriers, as the sheriff. It will be do MUCH better on video than in the theaters.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN
ACTION/FANTASY/ADVENTURE

In 1982 a genre was reborn, with a sword and sorcery yarn titled Conan the Barbarian starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, that became a hit. Now this movie was remade with the same title different actor Jason Momoa as Conan. Plot, acting not really the focus of this film but hacking, slashing impaling and slicing is what it is all about. The story is about revenge. Conan was born on the battlefield and saw his father killed by Khalar Zym, played by Avatar’s Stephen Lang who is searching for parts of a mask to make him a god, and bring his dead wife back to life.

Now grown, Conan goes to find his father’s killer and helps Tamara,(Rachel Nichols) a pretty young woman who can make Zym become immortal. Momoa looks fine as Conan--he is big and brutal however Nichols is no Sandahl Bergman, as his love interest. Bergman won a Golden Globe for her role, and her character could be malicious, but she cared for her man. Nichols, not so much. Rose McGown as Zyms’ evil daughter displays some really bizarre outfits and kinky tastes. Very good. Stephen Lang is okay as the villain, but he could have been much more. It didn’t make money, and I don’t know why. It will do better on video.

COLOMBIANA
ACTION/DRAMA

I don’t know why this movie is called Columbiana, as you think that is the name of the character Zoe Saldana plays, but her name is Cataleya (named after a flower in Colombia). It is a B movie, as Cataleya sees her parents gunned down in front of her and she becomes a slinky hit woman. She is the Latina Kill Bill!! It is typical, dumb, and it’s surely not Oscar stuff, but it is a good popcorn movie. Zoe Saldana is good having emotions despite the fact she is a stone-cold assassin. I can see why the movie was number 2 at the box office. There is room for a sequel but I really doubt it. It will do better on video.

Smurfy Times, Apes Rising, Help!

SMURFS--THE MOVIE
ANIMATION/FANTASY

WARNING: If you are not a fan of this film you will think it is very silly!!! However, if you are a fan you will enjoy this cute and funny feature about the Smurfs who accidentally come to New York. Plot really not important, but the voice actors are wonderful. Jonathan Winters is Papa Smurf, Alan Cummings (X-men 2) is Gutsy, singer Katy Perry is Smurfette and tells why she is the only girl in the land.

Funny guy George Lopez is great as Grouchy and Anton Yelchin (Chekov in Star Trek 2009) is Clumsy. The humans are very good too. Hank Azaria as Gargamel is great as the evil guy but whacky. Neil Patrick Harris (on TV show How I Met Your Mother) and Jayma Mays as the couple who helps the little blue people. It is great for kids and people who really like the cartoon series.

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES
SCI-FI/ACTION

WOW!! This film took me by surprise!!! I not too fond of “ape” movies but this is very good!!! It is a prequel to Planet of the Apes and how they became intelligent and took over from human beings. James Franco is great as a scientist who has personal problems, who genetically transforms a baby ape named Caesar to a thinking ape. Freida Pinto (Slumdog Millionaire) is very good as his girlfriend. John Lithgow is touching as his Alzheimer’s father.

David Oyelowo is evil as the black businessman who wants to sell the genetic drug; Tom Felton (Harry Potter series Draco Malfoy) playing a bad zookeeper. David Hewlett (Dr. McKay from Stargate: Atlantis) plays a small but important part. The best acting of all is Andy Serkis as the grown Caesar (via motion caption) is amazing!!! SPOILERS: Caesar speaks twice and that means two things, sequels and evolution of the apes!!! A good summer movie, and better on video with the extra features.

THE HELP
DRAMA

I love to hate this film for it is about black maids in the 60’s in Jackson, Mississippi and how one young privileged southern girl Skeeter (Emma Stone) wants to tell the side of the housekeeper. The acting by Aibileen (Viola Davis) is on her way to win an Oscar nomination along with her feisty friend Minny (Octavia Spencer). Why I hate it--so many black stories to tell they pick this one!!! This is based on the bestselling book by the same name. It was rejected 60 times, and for good reason!!!

Black women find it damn offensive showing actresses as maids in this day and age while we have a black first lady. I am truly surprised it is making money!!! To boycott this movie would make it more money (from the controversy) so I just don’t know what to say. You have to brace yourself for all the racism in the film. There are bright moments, but Hollywood seems to think black audiences love to see themselves subservient to whites, or as poor, ghetto or gangster. Black life is more than what Hollywood is showing. See this film for good acting and if you’re black, see it at your own risk.

Captains and Aliens and Pooh Bears

COWBOYS & ALIENS
SCI-FI/WESTERN

The title should be called Cowboys, Indians and Outlaws vs. Aliens. Based on a graphic novel, the story is about Jake (Daniel Craig, the latest James Bond) who is out in the desert not knowing who he and has a strange cuff on his wrist. The adventure starts when he has to discover who he really is. The cast is great, as Harrison Ford (Star Wars, Indiana Jones) is great as Woodrow Dolarhyde, a powerful rich guy, and Olivia Wilde (Tron Legacy) is not just the woman in the movie. She plays an important part. It is a strange hybrid, but with loads of action. If you don’t like your westerns mixed with monsters don’t go, but it is different and good!!

WINNIE THE POOH
ANIMATION

The classic Winnie the Pooh is back and is sooo delightful, but the film is too short. The lovable bear who loves 'hunny' with his stuffed friends. The story is simply Eeyore lost his tail and Christopher Robin has a contest who finds his tail gets a reward: hunny!!! The film is lots of fun yet short, but it has musical numbers, comedy, suspense The older people who know the cute bear knows that the narrator is now John Clesse not the late Sebastian Cabot, and the film is old school animation.

ZOOKEEPER
ROMANTIC COMEDY

Griffin Keyes (Kevin James, King of Queens, Mall Cop) is the zookeeper of Franklin Park Zoo. He is good at his job but his sexy ex-girlfriend Stephanie(Leslie Bibb, Ironman) wants him back to sell hot cars and live the good life. Kate (Rosario Dawson, Men In Black 2, Unstoppable) likes Griffin too and works at the same zoo. The animals like him too and they TALK!!! The voices of the animals are Adam Sandler as Donald the monkey, Sylvester Stallone as Joe the lion, Nick Nolte as Bernie the gorilla and Cher as the lioness. It should be a fantasy with talking animals and chubby James getting attention from two beautiful women, but he is charming and romantic enough to make it work. Kids will love it, adults not so much.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER
ACTION/FANTASY

This character has been done in the movies so many times but this time they got it right!!! Comic book fans may disagree, for there are some changes from the comic. You know the story; Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) a sickly kid tries to go to the serve his country by going in the military. He is rejected every time until Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) sees something good within him and wants to experiment on him, so Rogers agrees and turns into the superhero.

The cast is good but the film is not about acting. You can’t believe that Evans was the Human Torch in Fantastic Four!! Hugo Weaving is just evil at his best portraying Johann Schmidt/Red Skull. STAY AFTER THE CREDITS or you’ll miss a good scene. You'll have to decide for yourself if the film is patriotic or propaganda.

The Horrible and the Hallows

BAD TEACHER
(COMEDY)

This film has the right title. Elizabeth Halsey is a bad teacher, but the good thing is she is played by Cameron Diaz. I think this is her best part yet!!! She drinks; she smokes, she is selfish, she is self-centered, she swears, she schemes. She should give up teaching and be a politician. Her rival Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch) compete for Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), a wealthy but nerdy substitute teacher. They fight for his affections in crazy, funny ways. The acting not important as the raunchiness!!! For the guys she washes a car like she's having sex with it!!! For the women, there is even romance believe it or not!!!

HORRIBLE BOSSES
(COMEDY)

Did you ever fantasize of killing your supervisor? Well in this movie, Jason Bateman, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis decide to kill their bosses with the help of “murdering consultant” Jamie Fox. Their bosses are egotistical Kevin Spacey, an unrecognizable Colin Farrell and Jennifer Aniston as a maneater!!!. It is gross and funny at the same time. The acting is good especially Aniston, who is playing waaay against type. Guest stars appear against type too, so get ready for that!! The plot is nothing new but the three leads act like real people in a stressful or drunk situation. Should you go see if only if you like the premise and comedy.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS –PART 2
(FANTASY/ACTION)

You know that phrase ‘save the best for last’ applies to this movie. You should read the books (I haven’t), or at least seen most of the movies because they refer to many parts in the movie. If you thought the last movie was grim, it gets worse. Harry, Ron and Emma try to stop the evil Lord Voldermort with sad and tragic results. Severus Snape, played by Alan Rickman, has important role in this film. The production is top-notch even if you are not a fan. Quality and quantity has not lowered. It is an amazing film franchise achievement. Fans of the movie will love it; people who read the book will like it--even if there are changes in the movie. It is good in 2D or 3D.

Green Grit and Summer DVDs

GREEN LANTERN: EMERALD KNIGHTS
ANIMATED-2011

For those of you who need some more green after Ryan Reynolds: Finally, DC comics and movies are moving on to their other superheroes. This story is about a new recruit Arisia (Elizabeth Moss) and Hal Jordan (Nathan Fillion, Firefly, Castle) tells her stories about the famous green lanterns before them. It is very good and the animation is brilliant. It does have some disturbing parts, but it's still worth watching. It has great celebrities who offer their voices such as Jason Isaacs (Harry Potter) Kelly Hu (Hawaii 50) and Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy series).

TRUE GRIT
WESTERN/DRAMA -2010

Two things you should know before reading my review. First, I never saw the entire, original movie with iconic John Wayne in 1969 and second, I don’t like westerns--Italian westerns. This remake is very good for it feels like a real western--not a Hollywood western. Story is about a young girl named Mattie Ross (talented Hailee Steinfeld) who wants revenge on the man who killed her father played by Josh Brolin and gets help by Rooster Cogburn played by the great actor Jeff Bridges. Everyone does a fantastic job, and the cinematography by Roger Deakins is amazing. The Coen Brothers did fine jobs as with the movie “No Country for Old Men”. Remakes are usually terrible, but this one is very good.